{just breakaway}

Have you ever experienced a sense of wanting to completely breakaway? I mean from your normal routine, find yourself stranded on a lovely island with all your cares met, just able to be and hear yourself think and try to mull over the others that sometimes don't make the most sense? I do. Constantly. I am not a runner by nature but, lately, I feel a need to run away and discover something forgotten that I only know about, a place where I can find solitude and warmth all by myself in my own time and in my own place. I need to take part in a fantastic adventure all on my own. Without any thoughts in the back of my head wondering why, if it will matter, if it will offend, if it takes too much time, or if it makes any sense in the end. Just to be. I think that is what I need. Just to be. Be with me. Care for me. Do you know... I can't remember the last time I had a pedicure or a manicure. Probably because I have never had one and always done it myself. To get my hair done again (it grows so fast) and get a new outfit to have fun in (don't have time to shop) and then to sit back and listen to music while making a glorious cake. Maybe chocolate fudge and eat the whole pan if I want to while enjoying some beautiful honey tea. To wake up as early or as late as I want to. Run on the dunes, hold a seashell to my ear, laugh at gulls, and breath in the most glorious and intoxicating aroma of fresh sea air ever.

I think all of this is happening now because I am anxious of the long winter ahead. Stuck inside. Cold. Unforgivabley long and bitterly cold winters. Maybe this place that I dream of going is only in my dreams. I would love a month away. In this place. Like the house in the Nights of Rodanthe you know that movie with Diane Lane? That would be pretty wonderful! To stay in that place, just me, alone. Too wonderful for words.