{Ever Wonder?}

Do you ever wonder what you are doing with your life and where it will be when you assume you will be grown up. I keep saying that, "When I grow up." Maybe it is because I heard that constantly ringing in my ears as a little girl. So hopeful and expectant and then slammed with "When you grow up." Honestly there isn't anything more depressing. Except by the world's terms I am grown up. I am nearly 24 years old, graduated from college with a degree, have a great paying job, pay rent, take care of my own stuff, yet I feel that when I grow up is when I will really be able to do all the things that I have always dreamt of doing. Is that sick? Is it procrastination? I am just really thinking about it lately I guess. What do I really want to do? I know what I want to do but how do I go about doing it. I see that as my problem. I am a very driven and goal orientated person. I achieve everything that I set out to accomplish but for some reason I have a very hard time making fun exciting things happen for myself. It is too selfish, too.... me, me, me - and I hate that. But I am realizing that I must stop it and do it. I am only young once right? Your youth is a time for growing and spreading your wings. Maybe it is the whole first born thing. You know, the one who was raised to be responsible and serious. Any pointers or thoughts? Are there any others out there like me?